The Backlash! - July 1996

The sexual sell

Is sex overvalued, or too cheap?

by Wade Balder


I think many people would agree that, in our society, sex is overvalued. That we put far too much emphasis on it. We even use it to sell cars. I suppose this is an effect of the laws of supply and demand. The value of any item where the supply is low and the demand is high is bound to be expensive. (This is as true for Cabbage Patch dolls and embargoed oil as it is for sex.) Sex is expensive. It is to women's advantage to keep it expensive, because the greater the cost of sex, the more power it gives them.

This has consequences. One is that sexual violations become more frequent. (Similarly, violence increased over Cabbage Patch dolls and gas when they were in short supply.) Sexual crimes and other sexual transgressions (e.g. lying, cheating) become almost commonplace.

Another consequence of sex being overvalued, is that sexual violations also become overvalued. Sexual jokes in the office become harassment. (We are not allowed to cheapen sex by making jokes about it.) Sexually explicit pictures become pornography. We have rape crisis clinics but no mugging or murder clinics. Sexual mutilation becomes a media event: a seriously injured victim of violence is page 23 news, while headlines scream about even the most minor of sexual offenses. Sexual offenses receive special treatment.

The ultimate sexual crime receives the ultimate in special treatment. Rape becomes as bad as murder, and victims of rape and other sexual crimes are called "survivors." Of course rape is a serious crime, but let's get real here -- it isn't anywhere near as serious as murder.

This overvaluing of sexual crimes also aggravates the emotional pain of victims. How is a woman supposed to feel after being raped when society tells her that it is as bad as being murdered?

Sexual offenders must assume the ultimate responsibility for their actions. But does that mean we should ignore contributing factors? Like the sexual power differential between men and women? Men are raised to believe that they have all the power over women, a belief feminists reinforce. Imagine what a shock it must be for most men when they discover how little power, but how much responsibility, they have in the sexual arena. How much sexual abuse is a reaction of men against this domination?

Feminists tell us that sexual crimes are not about sex, but power. This begs the question. Why is it that men choose to express this power in a sexual way? I do not think it is coincidence. Men are reacting against women's sexual power. A study found that 85% of victims of rape or attempted rape were between the ages of 13 and 30 (only about 25% of women are in this age group). This is when women are at the peak of their sexual power.

Am I blaming the victim? No. The victim has nothing to do with it. The dynamics of sexual assault were set into motion long before most victims go through their wardrobes or apply their makeup. The problem is systemic, involving women's behavior in general. Feminists have no trouble criticizing the behavior of non-abusing men as contributing to abusers' actions (e.g. Playboy). Why is it that we can't criticize people's behavior just because they happen to be the same gender as the victim?

Another common response when women are criticized for their sexual looks, is "rape is not sex, but violence." Nonsense. Of course, it's sex. And violence. It's ironic that only when women's behavior is questioned, is rape considered non-sexual. In all other cases, it is considered sex. After all, most all of feminism's solutions to sexual abuse problems involve sexuality (i.e., male-oriented sexuality) -- from censoring Playboy, to castrating "offenders." However when women's sexuality is questioned, suddenly rape is not sex, but violence. Why? Because women need to maintain female sexuality as it is, because it is their base of power.

I believe most feminists, as well as a sizable portion of Americans, believe that the problem of sexual abuse is getting worse. Feminism, I would argue, is largely responsible for this. The basic contributing factors of violence are frustration, anger, feeling of failure, and low self-esteem. Certainly feminists have aggravated all of these in men, with their duplicity and continual blaming of men for anything negative. Feminists seem to have a modus operandi of revenge rather than amelioration. After 20 years of feminism's "solutions," therefore, it's time to try a different approach.


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