The Backlash! - June 1996

Organization News - National Center for Men
National headquarters: P.O. Box 555 Old Bethpage, NY 11804 (516) 942- 2020
James Pierce Whinston: 503-727-3686
P.O. Box 6481, Portland OR 97228-6481
Activism/message /event/info line: 503-727-3686

Men's and Fathers' Activism Report -- 5/26/96

by James Pierce Whinston, deputy director
General Email for NCM

The NCM supports total equality between men and women.

DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed herein are those of the persons who send in the news items. They do not necessarily reflect those of the National Center For Men, its officers, members, Jim Whinston or Mel Feit.
This is Memorial Day weekend. 1.2 Million American men have died fighting for freedom, free speech, justice, human and civil rights for this country and around the globe. Please take a moment to honor and respect them and all the women who have served in our armed forces and in all other capacities, especially during those efforts. And all the men and women today who are or have been in the services, doing their patriotic duty.

Father's day is June 16. In the spirit of Martin Luther King, Jr., and in the spirit of the sacrifice of all those who have fought for this country and served the cause of freedom, can we have a month-long cease-fire in the gender war (Mother's Day to Father's Day)? And maybe we could extend it forever.

Time to "reverse the genders" regarding our advice given for Mother's Day (universal sexism test): To all the custodial moms out there: make sure the kids see dad on Father's Day, and make sure they hear good things about him and all dads. This is what you would want for mothers on Mother's Day, if things were flippity- flopped (and what we strongly recommended). Even if the ex is rotten and you have to say "Sometimes life is hard and people don't handle it well -- but your mom/dad loves you and always will."

Video conferencing by Kinko's copy shops on Father's day. Reports are that Kinko's is having a promotion for Father's Day, so Dad and kids can connect if they are far apart. Word is that it will be rather inexpensive for 30 minutes. Here is the perfect chance for custodial moms (item just above) to facilitate the relationship between the child and other parent (dad, this time), which is our mantra. Please send along any updated info anyone has on this video-conferencing. (Does anyone know if Kinko's had the same offer and promotion on Mother's Day. Although there are 7 to 10 times more non-custodial dads, we should be pointedly consistent with our own rhetoric and ask Kinko's to go both ways on this.) Please keep us posted.

Lifetime TV Network, May 29. Mel Feit debated victim-feminist Gloria Allred on a panel after a TV movie on sexual harassment on the Kerry Ellison story. And the sparks flew. Mel asks the victim-feminists if all those humiliating Lorena Bobbitt jokes told by women in the workplace didn't amount to sexual harassment of men. No reply. This was a taped show (it's in the can) and it is a great show (but watch for biased editing, which is so prevalent these days -- journalistic integrity, what's that?) UPDATE 5/26/96: we are recommending the DEBATE afterward, not the TV movie. The movie is called Hostile Advances. TV Guide reviewer Susan Stewart says: "If ever there was a generic embattled-woman movie, it's 'Advances' -- it's as impersonal as a blank tax return. My score (0-10): 3." Mel Feit, though, rates 13.

Mel Feit in Calgary, Alberta, Canada: Thursday evening, 5/30, talk to be given to the soon-to-be local chapter of the NCM. Sat., June 1, conference during day. Call or email Doug Rodenbush at 403-248-5974 if you can make it. And on 6/2 Mel will be conducting talks in Red Deer, near Edmonton. UPDATE 5/26/96: The Secretary of the Treasurer has assigned this trip a dollar value, and declared that the US's balance of trade problem disappeared for the month. Quite an opportunity for our northern brothers and sisters, equalitarian.

National Rally for Children, June 1, Washington DC, Lincoln Memorial. Critics say "They're using children as a shield for defending the welfare state and big government programs." Opportunity to let them know that kids need both parents, and a system that rewards cooperation -- not one parent and a paycheck. Presumption of joint custody and shared parenting across the land, assure visitation. (See Oregon section for local rally.)

Marc Walberg TV Show, 5/9/96. NCM executive director Mel Feit did the show, on date rape. No one does it like Mel. See if you can catch a tape.

US News & World Report,, 5/13/96, John Leo on domestic violence: A column blasting the victim-feminists for politicizing domestic violence as a men vs. women issue, and the media for being so biased. DV goes both ways, and is a human problem, not a gender issue. He is responding to a LA Times article that can't figure our why mandatory arrest policies are snagging women. It can't be because the rates of DV are equal, so it must be another example of bias against women! Leo is brilliant, again. Addresses: 2400 N Street, Wash, DC 20037-1196. Phone 202-955-2000.

Psychology Today, May/June 1996. Two great articles on fatherhood, page 18 (one pager) and page 48+ (two articles), and a victim-feminist paroxysm on domestic violence, page 56+. I will review them in next report, when there is space. For now, thanks are in order for the importance of fathers articles. Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 49 East 21st Street, 11th Floor, NY, NY 10010. Phone 212-260-7210.

Reason Magazine, June 1996, page 46+, article on "federal child support programs may aid government more than the children." Also to be reviewed next report when there is more space.

Ask ASA to rescind its award to Lenore Weitzman. Here's the item I received, (many thanks):

The American Sociological Association presented Lenore Weitzman with it's 'Distinguished Contribution to Scholarship Award' in 1986 for her book, 'The Divorce Revolution.' From an AP news article (5/17/96) I learned that Ms. Weitzman's data collection and analysis were flawed. The 73% decline in women's post-divorce standard of living she reported was actually 27%. And that her reported increase for men was 42%, but actually it should have been 10%. I understand that Ms. Weitzman withheld her raw data from other researchers for many years. That prevented scrutiny of her methods and data.

The judge in my own divorce alluded to her findings when splitting our marital assets. Findings which have been repudiated by the author herself. I am asking the ASA to rescind it award to Ms. Weitzman. The work she authored in no way represents a 'Distinguished Contribution to Scholarship.' It was poorly done, and has caused irreparable harm to countless men in divorce cases. It does not deserve your award.

I might add that one year after divorce, some research shows that the ex-wife's standard of living is higher than the ex-husband's, because by then they have both remarried, and often he is now financially supporting, to a higher extent, another household. And I might add her book caused harm to countless children, too. Here are the addresses: ASA, 1722 N Street NW, Washington, DC 20036. Phone 202-833-3410. (Please remember that a few dozen phone calls will irritate a secretary, which is the best way to get the higher-ups to change.)

Wall Street Journal, 5/17/96, lead op-ed, "Beyond the Gender Gap." "The fundamental flaw with the 'gender gap' concept is that it's not easy to squeeze the nation's nearly 100 million female voters into a box labeled 'the women's vote.' " "Most working women cite economic necessity as the primary reason they work, and 65% of mothers tell pollsters they would prefer to stay home with their children." And how about a debate between Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Dole?" A reasonable article.

Wall Street Journal, 5/15/96, lead op-ed, "The Children Behind The Glass," by Dorothy Rabinowitz. She weighs in again on the hysteria over child abuse, and how it continues to destroy the Amirault family of the Fells Acres Day School. Truly stunning article.

Wall Street Journal Roundup. 5/15/96, Work & Family by Sue Shellenbarger: "Family-Friendly Jobs Are the First Step To Efficient Workplace." In other words, family-friendly saves bucks and earns bucks (so let's call it the "parent track.") 5/14/96 front page item, "AFL-CIO Steps Up Its Attention To Women's Issues." The union created a "Working Women's Department." Let's follow this -- it should be gender-neutral to be fair -- and contact any local union branch. 5/13/96 op-ed "Why Feminists Should Be Trigger Happy," discusses women and guns issues (pro-choice, trailblazers, empowerment).

Interesting article on contradictions in victim-feminist theory. 5/10/96 op-ed, "Of Glass Ceilings and Sticky Floors." "Many women are held back from the top jobs far more fiercely by the sticky peanut-butter smeared kitchen floors of motherhood. It's not a glass ceiling we encounter, it's a looking glass, a funhouse mirror reflecting and refracting back at us our own images, distorted by the opposing forces of family and position..." And, interestingly, "My husband is an attorney and businessman who I married, in part, because he has a single-focus drive and is dedicated to his work and our financial well-being. He is not and never has been a house-husband, and so I have had the privilege and responsibility of being the primary parent." (But doesn't this put a lot of success and financial pressure on men? And what about fathers who want to parent as much as women who want to succeed?) Theme is that lower pay and position is due to choices, not sexism.

Ellen Goodman, 5/14/96 criticizes the finding of fault with no-fault divorce laws. Round up the usual arguments in favor of divorce, while ignoring the presumption of joint custody, rewarding cooperation, assuring visitation as an end-run solution to strengthening families. But on same day, MAGGIE GALLAGHER trumpeted the family, and marriage as "a basic productive institution," and reiterated the social pathologies of divorce. Goodman, The Boston Globe: The Washington Post Writers Group, 1150 15th Street, NW, Wash DC 20071. Gallagher: Universal Press Syndicate, 4900 Main Street, Kansas City, MO 64112.

TIME Magazine, 5/6/96, page 36, Barbara Ehrenreich on the gender gap, title "Whose Gap Is It Anyway?" "The gender split in politics ... is the result of a male fantasy trip." "Men are living in a state of radical disconnection from the women-and-children part of the human race." Women do "more than their share of the child rearing ... and of caring for the elderly" ... "The reason for the gender gap is ... that men have been drifting off." "Women have tended to stay firmly embedded in the nexus of inter- generational dependencies ... Men were bound to be seduced by the social Darwinism of the political right." "The aim should be to close the gap as quickly as possible -- by bringing the guys back into the human race." How sensitive an ending. But doesn't it imply that men are not human. And as for the disconnection from the children, isn't it the Barbara Ehrenreich's who oppose the presumption of joint custody, rewarding of cooperation, and assuring of visitation, and ending of the gender war, that would make it possible. Addresses: Time & Life Bldg., Rockefeller Center, NY, NY 10020-1393 Phone 212-522-1212, or customer service 800-843-TIME.

EEOC sues Mitsubishi over sexual harassment, Mitsubishi fights back with picket. The continuing saga. UPDATE 5/26/96: Mitsubishi hires Lynn Martin, former Bush Admin. Labor Secretary, to conduct an independent investigation (seems like a smart move, great PR). (As an aside, Martin is a powerhouse of intellect and ability, Margaret Thatcher style. If only she had run for the presidency ... but maybe Dole will hitch up ...) Newsweek, 5/20/96, page 44, compares the Mitsubishi handling (in-your-face-denial) with Astra USA (quickly ... suspended its US chief executive) and suggested Astra was a smarter move (so much for due process and presumption of innocence). TIME, 5/13/96, also page 44, covered a Coast Guard suicide: "An officer told sexist jokes. When the CG investigated, he killed himself. Is anyone to blame?" The officer (Blanchard) gave an apology, but the CG brass launched a criminal probe. The author actually suggested that the problem was that they "let the potentially career-ending charges hang over Blanchard for so long," and cited an example last year when a Navy admiral "was out of a job by dinnertime." Any other profound ideas on how to avoid suicide? If you have an opinion for Mitsubishi: Mr. Takahisa Komoto, President, Mitsubishi Motor Manufacturing of America, 100 N Mitsubishi Motorway, Normal, Illinois 61761.

More sexual harassment: And talking about moving quickly (to sate the EEOC, and send a message that sexual harassment will not be tolerated) the White House filed a motion to delay the charges of sexual harassment against President Clinton, by Paula Jones, until after his presidency. On grounds that he was covered under the "Soldiers And Sailors Relief Act" of 1940. This act automatically delays lawsuits against military personnel until after active duty is over, and Clinton, as president, is the commander-in-chief ...

Clinton reforms welfare: "President Clinton issued administrative orders forcing states to end welfare payments to teenage parents who quit school or won't live with responsible adults. (Well how about finding the dad and asking if he or his family can take care of the child?! Or allowing the non-custodial to day care his/her own kids?!) Thanking the president could be in order. The White House, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Wash, DC 20500, comments 202-456-1111, fax 202- 456-2461. UPDATE 5/26/96: Bob Dole responds that welfare is the "greatest shame," blaming it for "the plague of illegitimacy." His five point response: work if able-bodied, state option to cut off payments to unmarried teens, a five year lifetime limit, exempting illegal aliens except for emergencies, and state flexibility to experiment. Governor Tommy Thompson of Wisconsin considered as Dole's running mate ...

Dr. Laura Schlessinger's psychotherapy radio talk show was profiled in US News & World Report, 4/29/96, page 22. She "blames feminism for turning families into an impediment to women's progress." And, "Don't worry so much about your self esteem. Worry about your character." I am impressed. UPDATE 5/26/96: Dr. Laura was profiled in Newsweek, page 75, 5/27/96. "Her moral code includes discouragement of divorce, especially in marriages with children." Her three C's: character, courage and conscience. Re her show, Newsweek writes, "Victimology and mollycoddling are out. Values and responsibility are in." She has two best- selling books, her current "How Could You Do That?," and 1994's "Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives." (Please forward any review information. Thanks.)

"May, a murderous month for sweeps-happy networks," says TV critic, adding that if it had a title, it would be "Murderous May" or "Women in Peril." (Pete Schulberg, Oregonian TV critic, 5/11/96) I guess they lay it on extra thick during ratings months. Read the item just below for something to do.

TV Movie, 5/6/96, ABC, "My Son is Innocent." Starring Marilu Henner as the mom of a son she believes is wrongly accused of committing a sexual assault and rape, and her fight to prove his innocence. UPDATE 5/26/96: as noted above, May has been "a murderous month for sweeps-happy networks," a.k.a. "Women in Peril." So ABC could be thanked here for an ounce of balance. 77 West 66 Street, NY, NY 10023. Phone 212-456-7777. Comments 212-456-7477 (M-F, 10-12:30, 2-4 p.m., option 4 for message or zero for a person.

PBS News Hour with Jim Lehrer, 5/3/96. "Life without Father" author David Popenoe, associate Professor of sociology at Rutgers University was interviewed. An excellent segment on the need for and value of fathers, as this is a big step for them. UPDATE 5/26/96: PBS News Hour could use some more thanks here. 3620 South 27 Street, Arlington VA 22206, phone 703-998-2810 or 2844, fax 703-845- 1458, viewer line 212-560-3113. Also, the Corporation For Public Broadcasting 901 E St. NW, Wash DC 20004-2037, 202-879-9600, fax 202-783-1019. UPDATE UPDATE 5/26/96: But then they do a welfare reform segment on 5/21/96 with no mention of joint custody or of first finding the non-custodial (dad) before granting benefits.

60 Minutes, CBS, 4/28/96, Fathers have no right to stop the adoption out of their own child. An excellent and sympathetic segment by Leslie Stahl on the wrenching issue. Unscrupulous lawyers and an easy Canadian jurisdiction. UPDATE 5/26/96: A few more big thanks could be in order. This was a superlative show. CBS News, 524 West 57th Street, NY, NY, 10019, phone 212-975-2006, fax 212-975-1893.

Newsweek magazine, My Turn column, "Unsupported Support," 4/22/96. By a second wife, page 16. "How can they (the state) justify giving so much to one child when we have five to support?" UPDATE 5/26/96: excellent article on abysmal, counter-productive failure of child support system when welfare is involved. I was very tempted to repeat the entire entry (see Activism Report for 5/11/96), but current report is too long. Article is a keeper. Newsweek: 251 W 57th St., NY, NY 10019-1894, 212-445-4000 main, 212-445-4186 comments, 212-445-4120 letters to the editor fax.

Prostate news. A new treatment option soon for enlarged prostate, thermotherapy, wherein microwaves are used to destroy excess prostate tissue, avoiding surgery. For the cancer-screening prostate-specific antigen (PSA) blood test to yield far less false positives, "no ejaculations for 48 hours before the test." And Former Illinois Congressman Dan Rostenkowski had surgery to remove a cancerous prostate (must have been the two counts of mail fraud he pleaded guilty to, when in the House of Representatives). "Prostate cancer is the second leading cause of cancer deaths among men, after lung cancer ... About 317,000 American men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer this year, and 41,000 will die of it." Allied info: "Despite previous reports showing that sperm counts are declining (half of 50 years ago), new research indicates that they have remained stable ... over the past 25 years." Phew.

Victim feminism without comment: " 'You hold the power to stop rape in your hand.' Slogan to be printed on 200 urinal screens as part of a novel anti-rape campaign at Ohio State University." Newsweek, 5/27/96, page 21. (Okay, I'm breaking down, some comment: how will denigrating male sexuality and waging a gender war reduce the problem?)

Mike Tyson cleared of sexual assault charges. "Police said there was no evidence that he had fondled or otherwise 'inappropriately touched' a 25 year old beautician in a nightclub." No comment (honest. I'm not 'touching' that one).

Movie critics Ebert and Siskel. Praise for rerunning their show on good family movies over Memorial Day weekend. They found a dozen.

Phil Donahue taped his final show. Since daytime talk is often slanted toward victim-feminist issues, I never thought I'd complain when Phil phlopped. Until Geraldo came along. And Jerry Springer, nighttime.

Gulf War Syndrome: Mixing of drugs used to fight insects and protect soldiers from nerve gas, in combination, may be the culprit.

Twisted Desire TV movie, 5/13/96. Actress Melissa Joan Hart played a teen "who seduces a gas station attendant and persuades him to kill her domineering parents," then fingers him for the crime. "She took the role of a heartless siren, she says, to demonstrate her range." (TV Guide). Well, at least it's a change from the usual "Women In Danger" TV movies on Monday night.

Web pate for NCM in progress. We can do it ourselves (my producer Paul D., himself, the technical genius). He needs "Hot-dog Pro 2" Software for html web pages. A donation of only $50 would cover it, hint, hint. We need your help, too (he already coughed $75 of his own moo to upgrade his computer so it would take a CD ROM). How about, "pretty please, too." ("Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away" -- from begging.)


Yellow Pages - US West Direct: They are starting a "Men's Organizations category," just like they have a "Women's Organizations" heading. Call their toll free number, 800-422-1234, and educate them and thank them. (They still have not actually listed our number, 503-727-3686). They serve these states: Ariz., Col., ID, Iowa, Mont., Minn., OR, Neb, NM, ND, SD, WA, WY. If you live elsewhere, call your yellow pages company and tell them that US West has overcome their sexism, and your company could improve itself, too, pronto. UPDATE 5/26/96: They are sending me written confirmation on this. If you need a copy of it, to help you in your neck of the woods, just send a SASE and I'll send it to you.

The AAUW is waging gender war: They are running ads about shortchanging girls in our education system. Call 800-326-AAUW and tell the American Association of University Women to please stop their gender war and stop the playing of the victim role. So divisive, counterproductive. UPDATE 5/26/96: These ads are still being run in Time Mag. What a terrible role model for our children (Mom and Dad in perpetual battle).

National Center For Men ACTIVISM LINE IS 503-727-3686. National and local activism alerts, new info at top, dated, for efficiency of time and money. (A donation of 25 cents would cover your call.)

NCM members please send me your email addresses so I can bulk send you this report as soon as it is posted. Thanks.

Are you being forced into fatherhood? The NCM Reproductive Rights Project may be able to help you.

California activism

We were soundly criticized by a seriously victimized person (he hasn't seen his child in over five years, and probably will die of disabling illness before he does) for our "total lack of concern about my situation and your utter absence of comment in my ... situation."

What do I say? We receive thousands of such tragic stories every year (as they said in the old USSR, "get in line"). Either we console or we "activate activism" -- we are only human and can do only so much.

We contribute thousands of dollars of our own money a year, year after year. (We could take our "talents" into the legal arena and earn hundreds of K's a year, off of the problem. Or into the media.) What do I say? I'd apologize forever if it would change your situation (or even if it would just help your spirits).

This hurts us so much, inside, to see the people we fight for feel such contempt and damnation for us. I take and can take anything and any venom, spit or spewed in my face, by the victim-feminists, and weather or deflect any arrow, no matter how sharp, rusty or poisonous. No problem (builds character). Confidently (sets an example). Any abuse for the cause of justice, for the children. I'll sustain it. The victim-feminists "know not what they do," misguided, wrongheaded, manipulated by those who gain from the gender war. Yet when the people we advocate for direct their anger at US. Blame us. Insult us. Damn us. Damn. Damn, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts so much. But never mind, put it out of mind, there is a job to do -- justice, fairness, due process -- and it looks as if I am being called upon to do it. "Yes sir, right away, sir, as best as my strength and abilities allow, sir." But, what do I say? How do I tell him that I need him, we need him, the movement needs him? We need all of you. But, still, what do I say?

All I can offer now is: please send to me a few succinct sentences describing your tragedy, and list the people and addresses to call, write, fax, and email, and what to say to them. And I'll put it in this report, next time running. (And maybe all of you great people out there reading this can, step by step, inch by inch, fight injustice, fight the good fight, continue to change the world, and do God's work.) And please accept our apologies for our shortcomings, no matter how long, all of them. Thanks so much, so much. And sorry for the broken record.

Florida activism

For the People News Reporter 4/29/96 has a few very good articles on the importance of fathers. A biweekly newspaper. I'll try to review them next report. Address: 3 River Street, White Springs, FL 32096. Phone 904-397-4145. Fax 904- 397-4149.

Minnesota activism

Salvation Army gives special thanks to single moms on Mother's Day in St. Paul. Will they do the same for fathers on Father's Day? Fair is fair. Did anyone notice this event in other parts of the country on Mother's Day, or was it just St. Paul? (Thanks to L for this and other submissions.)

Oregon activism

Informational gathering, Wednesday, June 19 -- not 6/12), 11 AM TO 1 PM, In front of the Multnomah County Courthouse. Opportunity to interact with the public, hand out information regarding the need to reform the family court system toward a less adversarial system. Presumption of joint custody (shared parenting), rewarding cooperation, enforcing visitation, prosecuting perjury. We want to see every one there. Bring your favorite signs too. UPDATE: Please note the change in date, to one week later. We've done this four years in a row, and it's been good.

Our Father's Day picnic is Sunday, June 16, 11 AM - 6 PM at Oaks Amusement Park, at the foot of SE Spokane Street, Portland. Four hour ride bracelets will be for sale. Raffle, food, great camaraderie.

Oregon will participate in rally for Children, Sat June 1, noon to 1 p.m., Pioneer Courthouse Square, downtown Portland (part of national rally). Critics say this is not for kids welfare but to further anti-family ideas of welfare and bureaucracy. Join us there as we hand out info on "Kids need both parents" and a system that rewards cooperation -- not one parent and a paycheck.

Support Enforcement division, Wed., May 29 will sponsor a forum, "Get To Know Us," at Linn-Benton Community college in Albany, Oregon. Three sessions are offered, 9-11 am, 12:30 -2:30 p.m., and 3-5 p.m. The release reads, "bring your child support questions and join us ... representatives from support enforcement, child support accounting unit, central operations unit, local DA office and Adult and Family Services Division will be available for information sharing. Our experience is that these make a difference.

Support Enforcement division is training discovery clerks and wants input from us. A good chance to let these people know that they are NOT doing God's work, indeed, the kids need two parents (presumption of joint custody, shared parenting), not one parent and a pay check (all that does is encourage divorce and illegitimacy). And without accountability, the whole child support system seems like a cruel joke. Date is Wednesday, June 5, from 2-4:30, at West Salem SED Admin. office, 1495 Edgewater NW, Suite 175, Salem, Oregon.

Parents rights measure passes in Josephine County. It's to send a message to Washington DC re the Parents Rights and Responsibilities Act pending in Congress. "Parents are concerned about keeping authority over their children." Upshot: "The county commissioners must provide, in layman's terms, a definition of what constitutes misdemeanor child abuse and what does not!" Responds to abuse by CSD in Whitehead case last fall, as documented in their own inquiry. Oregonian 5/24/96.

Willamette Week Newspaper, May 22-28, page 13, article on disbarring of Howard Binns. "Howard's End: The Oregon Supreme Court Yanks the License of a Loud-Mouthed 'Father's Rights' Lawyer." Serious question was whether the same alleged infraction would have resulted in disbarment if the attorney wasn't a father's rights advocate royale. I was quoted and will write a response, tying in the larger picture. This divorce stuff is so adversarial it sometimes pulls into its emotional orbit a lawyer. But we could have shared parenting and rewarding cooperation, and avoid it all ... Look for my response, please.

Stalking law use/misuse. Oregonian 5/18/96. Multnomah County judge rules that anti-abortionist cannot picket outside home of abortion clinic director or have any contact with her. Some feel this is exactly the misuse of the stalking laws predicted (against political activists). Others now see the law used politically in the abortion debate (note that we are a broad tent, here, not taking sides). Still others, especially in the media, are glad about the way the law is being applied in this issue, since they are on the pro-choice side. This one is worth following.

TV CH 12, 5/9/96, "10 O'Clock News". "Is The Pendulum Swinging Back Toward Divorced Dads?" A segment very sympathetic to divorcing and non- custodial fathers. Reported that joint custody was hard to get in Oregon since either parent could say no and it would be out. And let a primary care-giving dad at least day-care his own child. UPDATE 5/26/96: Some more thanks, please: KPTV, 211 SE Caruthers, Portland, OR 97214, 503-222-9921, fax 503-230-1065.

Meeting: we meet every Monday 7-9 PM. Support and activism. We meet at the Lloyd Center (NE 11th and Halsey, Portland), 3rd Floor, Room 2032 (to the right of Gentle Dental, which is 100 feet to the right of Meier and Frank). Get it off of your chest; change the world.

Our men's domestic violence hotline is up: (503) 285-9188 in Portland. "Early intervention." What!? Yes -- full details next report. (But call 911 or Metro Crisis, 503-223-6161, if it's an emergency, a "crisis," or tendencies are suicidal.)

The next "Equality on the Equinox" sm rally will be Sat., September 21, 1996. And we'll have a live band. Please contact me for how-to-kits ($6), to do one in your area. It's fun.

KPSU Radio 1450 AM, each Thursday, 6-7 p.m. live (father's and family issues, more, fun). Please call in from anywhere! (503-725-5945), especially at 6:15 p.m., Pacific time. You know the rough topic! On 5/16 we squeezed in Harry Lonsdale, candidate for US Senate from Oregon! And respected political analyst Walter Brown on 5/23. On 5/30 is Claudia Rumwell and other women/wives, on the Promise Keepers organization, and Sandi Sykes of Oregon Families United (Sandi will discuss reform of the CSD); on 6/6 is Linda Amodeo of Mothers For Justice; on 6/13 is Shawn Graham, MA, mental health therapist, on depression, suicidal tendencies and psychotic breaks in non-custodial parents denied their children; on 6/20 is Stu Holbrook of the Panurge Emporium Bookstore on family activities and The Summer Solstice; on 6/27 is David Slader, attorney, on child abuse and false accusations that arise during divorce; on 7/4 is the 4th of July and Jim Ward, a veteran from Vietnam, Granada and the Persian Gulf, on the cost of freedom and the meaning of the US Constitution; on 7/11 will be the Washington County WIC (Women, Infants and Children) director on services and education they have for men, especially fathers with children; on 7/18 will be women and business, science and technology; on 7/25 will be Lynnette Barkowski , a second wife, on lobbying her step daughter's school principal to let her husband sit in on his daughter's class (earth shattering request, but it's being denied, no kidding); on August 1 is Glenn Dettwiler on going to medical school and starting up a clinic for men's medical concerns; on 8/8 we will head back to the campaign trail with interviews with major candidates for the November 5 election. Please tune in.

File a grievance with the support enforcement division. For complaints, call 800- 850-0228 (in Oregon only, probably), option 2 (for payers), option 7 (for grievance form). Fun time! Squeaky wheel.

MENTOR MAGAZINE. A mythopoetic quarterly journal unrelated to Rich Zubaty's efforts. It will have both feminist and masculist views to be fair. Call 503-282-2108 for a complimentary copy in the Portland area. Outside Portland, send $5 for a sample issue: PO Box 11381, Portland, OR 97211.

The Family Violence Intervention Steering Committee meets the 2nd Friday of each month, at 12:15, at the Portland Building (1021 SW 5), Second floor. They define men as batters and women as victims. Mailing list (which itself pressures them): 503-248-3691 ext. 7806.

Multnomah county commissioners meet each Thursday, 9:30 a.m., room 602, Mult Co. courthouse. Open mike, speak out against family court bias.

Cable TV Show. Series is on hiatus, will be back soon. But look for frequent individual cable shows. We are going to extend the radio show theme, "Father's Issues, Family Issues," with its gender healing influence, to cable TV. We still need volunteers here.

THE NCM NEEDS YOUR SUPPORT, contributions of time, energy, money, and membership. We CANNOT do this without your support. Our children are going AWOL without two parents. Our marriages are failing because all issues have been framed as men versus women for 30 years, which is extremely divisive. A gender war hurts our children, and provides devastating role models. We must vigorously educate to protect our children and our children's right to two parents and a system that rewards cooperation, and our children's right to healthy role models. Everyone is getting hurt. PLEASE JOIN. Membership in the NCM is $60, $40, and $30 low income. Suggested donation for reading this report is $1 per report, $24 per year.
Reprinted with permission from the Activism Report of the National Center for Men
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