The Backlash! - May 1996

Medical hersteria?

The issue of women's health: hypochondriacs addicted to placebos?

by Wade Balder


Men die 7 years earlier than The Me Gender. The Me Gender spends twice as much on health care as that other gender. Men die earlier from every one of the top 15 causes of death. The Me Gender has two medical specialties devoted exclusively to them -- men have none. Three-quarters of those who die of heart disease before age 55 are of the male persuasion. In the last 70 years or so, The Me Gender's life expectancy has increased 44% while men's has increased only 34%.

In the industrialized nations over a recent 30 year period, cancer deaths rose 39% faster and cardiovascular disease deaths rose 27% faster in men than women. On a per death basis, the National Cancer Institute spends 10 times more on breast cancer research than on prostate cancer research. Not to mention that men have higher rates of accidents, substance abuse, suicide, and work and auto injuries.

The Me Gender looks at data like this and concludes, of course, that women are discriminated against in health care. Wha`!? Well, yes, because women aren't used in research as much as they should be.

It's hard to argue with logic like that. Or as my old granddad always used to say: "Arguing with an idiot is like shampooing a pig -- a big waste of time."

Certainly, in a system as big and complex as health care in the U.S., there will be examples of bias against The Me Gender. These should be addressed. But let's keep some perspective. The health status for men is far worse than women. Yet, The Me Gender hogs the attention -- Focus on Me, Help Me -- all the while, their fathers, brothers, and sons are dying early.

The Me Gender and it's apologists can twist any situation to their benefit. Some women admit that women do live longer than men, but it is only to point out unfairness to The Me Gender in the social security system and in life insurance rates. The Me Gender even complains about the low quality of life of older women. Unbelievable! How high can the quality of life be for members of that other gender who are already dead? Apparently making elder members of The Me Gender more comfortable has a higher priority than enabling men to live long enough to be uncomfortable.

Isn't death far more significant than arthritis, osteoporosis, loneliness, and other quality-of-life issues of older women? And if older women are so miserable, why do elderly men have a suicide rate 14.5 times higher? Whoops, looks like my pig fell in the mud again. I'll get the shampoo.

Feminists and other proponents for The Me Gender often end up contradicting themselves by demanding more attention for women. Or as my old granddad always used to say: "Liars need good memories." (He liked to paraphrase Algernon Sidney.) For example, I often hear that women are being cheated by the overemphasis on AIDS, where most victims in industrial countries are men, taking attention and resources away from really significant problems, like breast cancer, where most victims are women.

At the same time there seems to be a vigorous effort to get extra help for women with HIV/AIDS, with almost constant media attention to "women and AIDS." I have never seen any media attention that specifically focused on "men and AIDS." But I continue to see article after article and program after program on women and AIDS, with constant references to the rather sleazy statistic that the fastest-growing group of HIV/AIDS victims is women; sleazy because the number of women with HIV/AIDS is so low that when only a few more get the disease, the percentage increase is high. Yet 90% of AIDS victims in the U.S. are male. Still, no matter what the disease, the focus is on The Me Gender. And the band plays on: "Do Re Mi Me Me Me Me Me..."

Perhaps we need a specialist for The Me Gender's problem with foot-in-mouth disease. They often shout about differences in the treatment men and women receive (in particular, that men receive more aggressive treatment for heart disease), implying that women and men are the same and should receive exactly the same care. But in the next breath, they demand another specialty to handle women's special needs! Or demand that women be included in research studies. Are women and men the same or different? The answer varies with what best serves The Me Gender. Here, pig pig pig pig. Sooey! Sooey!

I think maybe we need another medical specialist for women. This physician would be called a migynopthalmologist and would treat members of The Me Gender for selective vision. Let us pray for a quick cure.

Changes of life are indicative of The Me Gender's tactics. Currently, there is a lot of hype surrounding menopause. Several books, magazine articles, and television shows are focusing on this condition because it only hits women. Puberty, another change of life, is not receiving any attention. Probably because it also affects males. Focusing on puberty would draw attention away from The Me Gender.

Even in matters as small as headaches, The Me Gender gets the attention. Migraines affect mostly women. Clusters affect mostly men. We've all heard of migraines. How many of us have heard of cluster headaches?

All this hype on women's health is working -- the squeaky wheel rides again. We now have an Office for Research on Women's Health, an Assistant Secretary of Health and Human Services who focuses on women's health, and a $625,000,000 Women's Health Initiative.

Periodically, ABC News broadcasts a series of special reports on women's health. Ironically, during one recent segments it was reported that women generally have better outcomes, spend much more time and money on their health concerns, and make most of the family's medical decisions -- often even for their husbands. Yet, the segments still concentrated on the same hype we have been hearing from The Me Gender's advocates -- that women are getting the short end of the caduceus.

How can this happen? Given the overwhelming evidence that men are much worse off medically, why do we continue to focus on The Me Gender? Maybe my old granddad said it best: "They're hypochondriacs addicted to placebos."


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