The Backlash! - February 1996
Caribbean Vacation
Love and romance at sea
by Aaron Mitchner
Copyright 1996 by Aaron Mitchner
Just got back from the Caribbean vacation. It was a real
learning experience and I am glad I went.
Day One
Saturday the 23rd: After 22 hours of plane delays and waiting in airports I arrived
on the ship and had dinner with Cathy (22) and her sister Caroline (24) who
happened to be at my 'first evening assigned seating'.
Day Two
Sunday on St. Thomas - Quickly learned that the ship consisted of 2600 people
who were all families (Moms and Dads with their teenage sons and daughters plus
daughters in the early twenties like Cathy and Caroline). This was bad news as I
knew that young people generally regress in maturity in the presence of their
parents. Cathy and Caroline and their mother took me with them to Meghan's Bay
for some of the best swimming I have ever experienced. In the evening the two
women invited me to dance with them for 5 hours straight in the "Diamonds are
Forever" disco. After 5 hours I got bored, however, and decided I did not admire
the two for their lack of imagination about how to have a good time. There had
been no conversation in the disco because it was too loud. They didn't seem to
mind. I set out on day 3 to find more interesting friends. For the rest of the week I
would be friendly but not choose to spend any more time than I politely have to
with Cathy and Caroline.
Days Three and Four
Guadeloupe & Grenada- Two Puerto Rican women are now at my assigned
seating dinner table. One of them translates as another flirts with me. It turns out
the one I was flirting with (30 years old) is married and the one I was using a
translator (25) was the one who would really be available for a shipboard romance
(holding hands on the deck, etc.). I had only been interested in the one who turned
out to be married. Also at my table now is a family from Canada with a 19 year old
daughter. The parents of this family unknowingly insult me by saying that I would
be too old to go out with her even if she didn't have a boyfriend. I end up talking
to the daughter until 3AM whereby she said that she would have the final say on
whether to go out with a guy and not her parents. I was still in shock about how
American middle class parents could be so much against the idea of a ten year
difference in age for their daughters' boyfriends. I was raised to believe that it was
the best system for there to be at least a ten year difference. From a practical
viewpoint, since the best women are generally married by age 25 (with the
exception of one Susan Vatcher), I will probably never get the chance to date
seriously anyone older than 25.
Day Five
Venezuela - This day changed everything but I would not know it until the last
night of the cruise. I got lost in the crew quarters deck when I met Renate, a 24
year old officer of the ship who is from Denmark and stands 6 feet tall. We speak
together for a minute while she leads me to where I want to go and she is surprised
that I can speak her language. There was a degree of magic in our initial exchange.
I wander around a Venezuelan village that afternoon learning Spanish. Tried and
failed to board the QE2 which was next to our ship (The Fascination) The day and
evening end quietly. I meet more and more boring sorority girls from various
American colleges. I have to listen to them tell me how superior they are to non-
Greeks at their schools and how they love fraternity boys with army boots and
baseball caps facing backwards.
On this evening I am seriously thinking of catching a plane from Aruba to New
York and attending the Debutante Ball in Manhattan that evening. I want to meet
classier people. I am at the low point of my vacation. The daughter of the
Canadian family catches me on my way to the pursers desk at 2AM where I plan to
tell them I will leave the ship. She convinces me to stay to the end of the cruise.
Day Six - Aruba
A Dutch Island where Lady Di is staying while we are there. I had to stay indoors
today because I had sun poisoning from the previous days in the sun (never got a
burn however). In the evening I once again fail to look up the Dutch officer I had
met the previous morning. I am shy. Men can be shy. We men cannot afford to be
shy, however. We control the destiny not only of ourselves but of whomever we
successfully influence to date us. I was wasting precious time by not doing
everything I could to find Renate. She wasn't going to be looking for me. That is
not how life goes.
Day Seven
Day at Sea Heading back to Puerto Rico - Work out in the Gym again today. At
dinner I bring a bottle of wine for the Canadian family despite the fact that I
secretly despise the mother for her opinions about thirty year old men. She and I
have another 'friendly' argument whereby she says "I understand that at your age
you have slim pickings for possible romantic partners but..." and I answered her
back with "#1: I am not old. #2: I am not going to lose out or miss the boat in life.
I will not settle or compromise in the romance department." Meanwhile I am stoic
about how boring the cruise had been.
At 8:30 PM I am on the deck of the ship alone as usual looking at the Moon over
the ocean and how great the ship looks. The rest of the 2600 passengers are (like
lemmings) at the usual Broadway show performance or the casino losing tons of
money. Suddenly I see a lone young man walking silently across the mid deck of
the gigantic ship. He reminds me of me or he reminds me of a vampire out of an
Anne Rice novel as he walks around with no particular destination. I think he and I
are the only ones outside in the open air on that large ship when suddenly I see
another ghostly figure far on the other side of the ship. It is Renate, the Dutch
ship's officer, leaning over the railing watching the Moon just as I had done and
just as the characters in "Sleepless in Seattle" had done. I started walking toward
her (it took several minutes to reach her) and she was really glad to see me. We
talked for two hours whereby she admitted to feeling like a vampire in an Anne
Rice novel and early on I asked her if she believed in love at first sight and she
answered "Yes". I told her afterward that the two hours with her had made a
nightmare vacation into the best vacation I had ever had. She stared into my eyes
after I said that as if something might become of this acquaintanceship despite the
4000 mile distance between where we live and the fact that she does not live on
solid ground but sails around in circles 7 days per week.
And there you have it: the last few hours of the last day turned a voyage into Hell
into one of the best experiences I have ever had. Lesson: Its not over until the
plane lands back in your home airport.
Postscript: Guess who was on the plane next to me for ten hours on the way back
to Seattle? The mother of the Canadian family who had insulted me all week with
her attitude about 30 being too old. The daughter and I waved to each other as we
finally said goodbye at the shuttle bus stop in Seatac.
[ HOME ]
[ BACK ]
The Backlash! is a feature of Shameless Men Press
Email to the Editor