Where we turn the soapbox over to the feminists, themselves.
I believe that the "violence" of the oppressed is inherently a form of extended self- defense -- that is, a desperate response to the older violence of the oppressor.
It is not exclusivity of sex that feminists oppose, but sexual exclusivity of power.
Violence is the authentic proof of each one's loyalty to himself, to his passions, to his own will; radically to deny this is to deny oneself any objective truth, it is to wall oneself up in an abstract subjectivity; anger or revolt that does not get into the muscles remains a figment of the imagination. It is a profound frustration not to be able to register one's feelings upon the face of the world.