The Backlash! - May 1995

Book Review: What the Hell do Women REALLY Want?

Jama Clark, Ph.D. $9.95 Island Flower Books, 70 East Sunset Way Suite 217 Issaquah, WA 98027

A better title for this book might be Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Women That They Were Too Dishonest to Tell You. In one dynamite how-to page after another, author Jama Clark provides insights and instructions that are sure to turn even the sincerest of snags into a mighty stud muffin. If you're a "sensitive new age guy," you need this book. Buy it now.

Not that you will necessarily enjoy it. Clark is brutally honest: "Sorry guys, but this book will not tell you what the heck is wrong with women for wanting the type of male behavior I'm about to describe." Indeed, the type of behavior she describes might typify the kind of men most of us would call "domineering jerks." But the sad truth is, in one survey after another, more than 90 percent of women agree that's what they really want.

The truth can hurt, but it can also set us free. I have mixed feelings about that. On the one hand, the author may be right. On the other, after reading it, you may wonder, as I did, if you really want anything to do with the kind of women she talks about.

How ever you feel about that, if you want to get laid, and nothing else, the procedures in this book will most likely get you there. Dr. Clark pulls no punches in outlining the dominant, aggressive, macho behaviors that most women are attracted to, and she freely states that the most important bargaining chip you have as a man is your status and bank account. (And whether the author realizes it or not, from this standpoint alone, her book is one of the most powerful indictments of feminism ever written.)

That said, I don't believe the author really grasps the socio-economic implications of the biological differences between the sexes.

She states that attractive women end up with powerful men because they're "equal." This ignores that a woman's looks fade, while a man's power and wealth may grow throughout his lifetime. What this means is, women who don't husband their sexual power in a committed relationship during their youthful prime, should not be surprised if their increasingly attractive men abandon them for younger women.

She also ignores that when a man follows her advice, and instead of trying to find one of the increasingly rare women with the foresight or maturity to want him for who he really is, changes his behavior to appeal to the majority of women as they are, he's most likely going to want to screw around and not settle for the monogamous relationships the author encourages.

While I suspect that, contrary to the stereotype, most men are idealistic, even romantic, and that like me hope for a long term, faithful relationship, and even marriage (what a radical concept!), men won't "commit" if it's not a good "deal."

Once upon a time, a struggling young man would marry a woman around his own age. Because of her youthful beauty and his youthful impoverishment, he got far more of what he wanted right up front than she did. After years of work, however, as his financial and social standing improved, she started looking more like a portrait of Dorian Gray. To her benefit, because the social consensus was overwhelmingly in favor of monogamy, and he had bonded to her through raising children and day to day living, as well as the simple inertia of being with one person for many years, he stayed with her even though he would not, by then, be attracted to her had they just met.

When they first met, the exact opposite was true. In effect, she gave up her youthful fantasies and he gave up his "mid-life crisis," and in exchange they each received a stable relationship at a time when it would mean the most - he in his uncertain youth, she in her certain old age.

When a woman reins in her youthful fantasies to commit to one responsible young man, this validates him as few things can, and that may prove a major factor in his ultimate success. Later, he repays her early sacrifice with sacrifices of his own.

Perhaps overlooking this dynamic, Dr. Clark feels that a man who resigns himself to cater to the basest impulses of women, will do so without indulging his own base impulses. (That is, using the information in her book to get laid a lot, rather than to get a stable relationship.) As a man, I guarantee that, without the tempering influence of sacrifice and idealism on the part of women, most men will not sacrifice or be idealistic, themselves.

Not that this will hold true in every case. Clark admits some women are not so crass, and they will attract men of equal class. But she refers to them by the unfortunate phrase "freak rate." She means it in a good way, but she could, to use more statistical terminology, have called them 5th sigma individualists or something more complimentary instead.

This book may be a bit depressing, but it is honest. While the author should be commended for this, that alone is not reason enough for you to buy her book. To decide if this book is for you, ask yourself, as Clark suggests, "do you want to get some women in your life, or do you want to sit around complaining about how crazy women are while other guys are out with them, doing what you'd like to be doing? You are not going to change years of conditioning by society, her parents, or genetics by being right. You can be right and alone, or you can do something about it."

My recommendation - move to Mexico, where women and men still treat one another with respect, or buy this book.

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