The Backlash! - April 1995

Book Review: Divorce without Court

Roger Saul, 1993, Worldwide Interfaith Peace Mission, 415 pages


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Book review by Paul Shaner


This is a divorce manual for do-it-yourselfers that teaches you a method of avoiding the system. It is kick-ass, grimly funny, happily cynical, philosophical, well thought-out, conservative and somewhat Christian.

Rog spends the first 53 pages giving his contents, definitions, introductions, saying what he is going to say and polemics. Then you finally start getting into meat. His stance is that kids without their fathers generally do poorly, therefor a system that eliminates the father is nuts. He feels that joint custody is the way to go, not only for insuring child support, but emotional child support.

He feels fathers generally spend a lot of money in divorce court, get tangled up for years and can't win anyway. Anything that avoids court is bound to be better. On the other hand, he is very clear that violence and anger gets a Dad nowhere.

He expends a great deal of effort to convince the reader that not fighting is the best way to go, because his system requires great restraint, maturity and intelligence. He discusses being a warrior- being brave and doing one's duty. He cites Confucius, "Perceiving what is right and not doing it argues lack of courage." and the US Army,"Courage means putting your fear aside and doing your job." He quotes from Sun Tsu's The Art of War extensively, particularly when Sun Tau counsels that excellence is not always to fight and win, but to win without fighting is true excellence.

Rog recommends making an offer to the ex-spouse that is reasonable, generous and mature. He recommends diplomacy. The offer is given by letter and he gives pages of advice and examples in the writing. He is very careful to lay out the approach because he is well aware of the anger and violence the divorce system tends to engender. He shows how to write the letter, what to offer and the pitfalls. He even suggests rewarding her for signing the agreement, reasoning that you will save on lawyers.

The next step if the initial offer is not accepted is to send recruit her new husband, her father, brother and church as allies. Then if that does not work, to stage a public demonstration outside her place of work, with prior notification. He lays all this out in detail. He gives suggestions of how to deal with lying, unethical attorneys, false abuse allegations, psychologists.

I think the method would work, but it would require great maturity and restraint. I recommend the book to anyone caught in a divorce.


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