What Every Man Should Know About Feminist Issues

Objectify yourself

by Rod Van Mechelen

Copyright 1991, 1992 by Rod Van Mechelen


Women objectify themselves as sex objects. (Intercourse, Andrea Dworkin, p 140) They also objectify others. (Women & Love, St. Martin's Press mass market edition, 1989, Shere Hite, p 129) From childhood, women seek status through affiliation by objectifying one another as status-objects: "(G)irls get status by being friends with high-status girls: the cheerleaders, the pretty ones, the ones who are popular with boys." (You Just Don't Understand, Ballantine Books Edition, June 1991, Deborah Tannen, Ph.D., p 107)

As adults, they objectify men as success objects. The means for impressing other women. (Women Vs. Women, Tara Roth Madden, p 155) Effectively, they use men to tell one another, "Here is my man: with him, I buy cars, clothes, entertainment, vacations, trips to the beauty parlor and, if I'm so inclined, motherhood or early retirement." The consequences of this are devastating:

Most women know most men see them as sex objects, and most women agree this is bad. But when confronted with how they objectify men, they deny it, pointing to surveys that prove they value a good sense of humor above money, and sensitivity and kindness above power.

But most men know they can be kind, caring, loving and sensitive, and while these characteristics may earn them the status of "just friends" with many women, their many women friends would never consider having sex with them. Men know the more money, status, prestige and power they have, the more willing most women will be to give them love and sex. Most men have always known this, but few realize the connection between how women objectify them, and female hostility toward men.

Women's increasing independence, combined with how they objectify men as walking wallets, is the reason for much of their hostility toward men: The monetary basis for their "love" for men is gone. What remains is the resentment they feel toward most men for being unable to fulfill their need for "walking wallets."

When men realize this, how will they feel? Will they resent it? Will male hostility toward women grow to match female hostility toward men? That depends. In response to the feminist movement, many men gave up objectifying women as sex objects to look to the deeper beauty that grows with time. Women must do this, too. They must stop objectifying men and embrace the equality they say they want. It's the only way to stem the tide of resentment men will otherwise feel.


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